10.1 In 講我, 較濟過講我 ê 罪

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10.1 In kóng góa, khah chē kòe kóng góa ê chōe.

Tō-kóng lí sī chē tī pī-kò-se̍k thiaⁿ lâng tâm-lūn lí, he mā sī chiâⁿ chhù-bī. Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ hām góa ê lu̍t-su teh chò kiat-lūn ê sî, chē-chē só͘-chāi lóng kóng-tio̍h góa, hoān-sè kóng góa, khah chē kòe kóng góa ê chōe.

M̄-koh in hit nn̄g-phiⁿ káng-ián kám ū siáⁿ tōa chha-pia̍t ah? Góa ê lu̍t-su chhiú gia̍h koân-koân, sêng-jīn góa ū chōe-kò, m̄-koh mā ū ta̍t-tit goân-liōng ê só͘-chāi. Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ chhiú lāng koh iô, soan-pò͘ góa ê chōe-kò, m̄-koh bô lí-iû thang goân-liōng.

Ū chi̍t-hāng tāi-chì hō͘ góa sió-khóa khùn-jiáu. Sui-bóng ta̍k-hāng lóng ín-khí góa ê koan-sim, m̄-koh ū-sî góa chiok siūⁿ boeh chhap kúi-kù ah. m̄-koh góa ê lu̍t-su it-ti̍t thê-chhéⁿ góa, "Lí tiām-tiām -- ke-kóng tùi lí ê àn-kiāⁿ bô hó-chhù." Ùi bó͘ hong-bīn lâi khòaⁿ, in teh piān chit-ê àn-kiāⁿ bē-su he kap góa bô siáⁿ tī-tāi. Chìn-hêng tiong ê hāng-hāng lóng bô góa ê chham-ú. Góa ê miā-ūn ê koat-tēng, oân-choân bô lâng lâi mn̄g góa ê ì-kiàn.

Ū-sî-chūn góa kiông-boeh phah-tn̄g in ê cheng-lūn, chhap-ōe kóng, "Tán leh! Tàu-té siáng chiah sī pī-kò ah? Pī-kò mā chin tiōng-iàu. Góa ū ōe boeh kóng."

M̄-koh, koh siūⁿ leh, góa mā bô-siáⁿ thang kóng. Koh-kóng, góa tio̍h sêng-jīn, lán tùi pa̍t-lâng kám-kak hèng-chhù ê sî-kan bē chin tn̂g. Chhin-chhiūⁿ kóng, góa chin kín tō tùi kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kóng ê ōe kám-kak ià-siān. Kan-ta chi̍t-kóa kap choân-kio̍k bô-koan ê phìⁿ-tōaⁿ, chhiú-sè, a̍h-sī lò-lò-tn̂g ê gī-lūn chiah ē ín-khí góa ê hèng-chhù.

I só͘ kóng ê tiōng-tiám, jû-kó góa ê lí-kái bô m̄-tio̍h, tō-sī góa ê hoān-chōe sī ī-bô͘ ê. Siōng-bô, che sī i siūⁿ boeh chèng-bêng ê. I án-ne kóng, "Kok-ūi, góa lâi chèng-bêng hō͘ lín khòaⁿ. Góa kō͘ nn̄g-ê hong-hoat lâi chèng-bêng. Tē-it, kō͘ kng-thiⁿ pe̍h-ji̍t ē ê bêng-hián sū-si̍t, tē-jī, kō͘ chit-ê chōe-hoān lêng-hûn ni̍h ê sim-lí só͘ hoán-siā ê àm-sàm iáⁿ-jiah."

I thê-chhéⁿ hoat-têng kóng: góa kek gōa-gōa, bô-iàu bô-kín; m̄-chai goán lāu-bú kúi-hòe; keh-kang tō hām cha-bó͘ khì siû-chúi, khì khòaⁿ Fernandel ián ê chhiò-khoe tiān-iáⁿ; chòe-āu koh chhōa Marie tńg chhù. Chòe-āu hit-kù hō͘ góa siūⁿ chi̍t-khùn chiah bêng-pe̍k, in-ūi i kóng "hit-ê tah-thâu," m̄-koh tùi góa lâi kóng, he tō sī Marie lah. Koh-lâi i kóng tio̍h Raymond ê tāi-chì. Góa jīn-ûi, i khòaⁿ tāi-chì ê koan-tiám ū bó͘-chióng it-tì. I teh kóng ê mā ū khó-lêng. Góa tah-èng thè Raymond siá hit-tiuⁿ phe kā in tah-thâu siâⁿ chhut-lâi, hāi yi hō͘ chit-ê "tō-tek khó-gî" ê lâng ge̍k-thāi. Góa tī hái-than jiá Raymond ê tùi-te̍k, chū án-ne Raymond siū-siong. Góa kiò Raymond kā chhèng hō͘ góa, koh ka-tī chi̍t-lâng tńg-khì siūⁿ boeh iōng chhèng. Góa chiàu kè-ōe khui-chhèng. Góa tán chi̍t-khùn. Ūi-tio̍h boeh pó-chèng tāi-chì sêng-kong, góa koh khui sì chhèng, léng-chēng, khak-tēng, che sī su-khó kòe ê hong-sek.

"Tāi-chì tō sī án-ne, kok-ūi," kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kóng. "Góa kā tāi-chì ê keng-kòe ūi lín chéng-lí hó-sè, chit-ê lâng sī tī chheng-chhéⁿ ê chōng-thāi thâi-lâng ê. Góa tio̍h kiông-tiāu chit-tiám," i kóng, "in-ūi che m̄-sī it-poaⁿ ê bô͘-sat, m̄-sī tī hoān-sè ē-sái kiám-khin chōe-chek chêng-hêng hā ê chhóng-pōng hêng-ûi. Chit-ê lâng, kok-ūi, chit-ê lâng chin khiáu. Lí ū thiaⁿ-tio̍h i kóng-ōe, kám m̄-sī? I chai-iáⁿ án-chóaⁿ ìn-ōe. I chai-iáⁿ ōe ê kè-ta̍t. Bô-lâng ē-tàng kóng, i hêng-tōng ê sî m̄-chai i sī teh chhòng-siáⁿ."

Góa teh thiaⁿ, góa thiaⁿ lâng kóng góa chin khiáu. M̄-koh góa bô hoat-tō͘ chin-chiàⁿ lí-kái, pêng-siông lâng ê iu-tiám sī án-chóaⁿ tùi hoān-chōe ê lâng soah piàn-chò chia̍h-la̍t ê chōe-miâ? Siōng-bô he hō͘ góa chiâⁿ chhì-chha̍k, góa bô koh thiaⁿ kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kóng-ōe, it-ti̍t kàu góa thiaⁿ i kóng, "I kám ū án-chóaⁿ piáu-sī hoán-hóe? Lóng bô, kok-ūi. Chū ī-sím í-lâi, chit-ê lâng tùi i he ok-to̍k ê chōe-hêng liân chi̍t-kái to bô hián-sī kek-tōng."

Kóng kàu hia, i oa̍t ǹg góa, chéng-thâu-á kí góa, kè-sio̍k kong-kek góa, che góa chin-chiàⁿ m̄-chai sī ūi siáⁿ-mih. Tong-jiân, góa mā bē-tàng bô sêng-jīn i kóng ê bô m̄-tio̍h. Góa pēng bô án-chóaⁿ hoán-hóe góa só͘ chò ê. M̄-koh i ê bô-chêng hō͘ góa kiaⁿ chi̍t tiô. Góa goân-pún ē-sái chhin-chhiat koh hó-ì kā i kái-soeh khòaⁿ-māi, kóng góa m̄-bat ūi jīm-hô tāi-chì chin-chiàⁿ kám-kak hoán-hóe. Góa ê sim chóng-sī kòa-ì bī-lâi ê tāi-chī, kin-á-ji̍t a̍h-sī bîn-á-chài. M̄-koh khiā tī góa taⁿ ê li̍p-tiûⁿ, chū-jiân góa bô khó-lêng kā jīm-hô-lâng án-ne kóng. Góa bô khoân-lī piáu-sī jīm-hô kám-chêng a̍h-sī hó-ì. Góa tō koh thiaⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, in-ūi kiám-chhat-koaⁿ khai-sí teh kóng góa ê lêng-hûn ah.

I kóng, i ū thàm-thó góa ê lêng-hûn, hoat-hiān he sī khang ê, kok-ūi pôe-sím-oân. I kóng, sū-si̍t siōng góa pēng bô lêng-hûn, mā bô jîn-sèng, bô pòaⁿ hāng chiáng-koán lán-lâng sim-koaⁿ ê tō-tek goân-chek sī góa siūⁿ ē-kàu ê. "Tong-jiân," i koh kóng, "che lán bē-sái koài i. Lán bē-sái bâi-oàn i lêng-le̍k ta̍t bē-kàu ê khiàm-khoeh. M̄-koh, tī chit-ê hoat-têng, khoan-iông tòa lâi ê choân-jiân hū-bīn ê bí-tek, tio̍h niū-ūi hō͘ chèng-gī tòa lâi ê khah giâm-lē khiok khah ko-sióng ê bí-tek. Iû-kî sī, tī lâng ê sim-koaⁿ khang kah ná chhim-kheⁿ tit-boeh thun-chia̍h siā-hōe ê sî, tō chhin-chhiūⁿ lán tī chit-ê lâng só͘ khòaⁿ tio̍h ê." Hit-sî, i kóng-khí góa tùi Mama ê thāi-tō͘. I koh kóng-khí tú-chiah i kóng kòe ê, m̄-koh pí i kóng góa ê chōe iōng koh-khah tn̂g ê sî-kan -- sū-si̍t-siōng, tn̂g kah chòe-āu góa kan-ta chù-ì tio̍h, chit-ê chá-khí si̍t-chāi ū-kàu joa̍h.

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10.1 In 講我, 較濟過講我 ê 罪

Tō 講你是坐 tī 被告席聽人談論你, he mā 是誠趣味. 檢察官和我 ê 律師 teh 做結論 ê 時, 濟濟所在 lóng 講著我, 凡勢講我, 較濟過講我 ê 罪.

M̄-koh in 彼兩篇講演敢有啥大差別 ah? 我 ê 律師手攑懸懸, 承認我有罪過, m̄-koh mā 有值得原諒 ê 所在. 檢察官手弄 koh 搖, 宣布我 ê 罪過, m̄-koh 無理由通原諒.

有一項代誌予我小可困擾. 雖罔逐項 lóng 引起我 ê 關心, m̄-koh 有時我足想欲 chhap 幾句 ah. m̄-koh 我 ê 律師一直提醒我, "你恬恬 -- 加講對你 ê 案件無好處." Ùi 某方面來看, in teh 辯這个案件袂輸 he kap 我無啥 tī-tāi. 進行中 ê 項項 lóng 無我 ê 參與. 我 ê 命運 ê 決定, 完全無人來問我 ê 意見.

有時陣我強欲拍斷 in ê 爭論, chhap 話講, "等 leh! 到底 siáng 才是被告 ah? 被告 mā 真重要. 我有話欲講."

M̄-koh, koh 想 leh, 我 mā 無啥通講. Koh 講, 我著承認, 咱對別人感覺興趣 ê 時間袂真長. 親像講, 我真緊 tō 對檢察官講 ê 話感覺厭僐. 干焦一寡 kap 全局無關 ê 片段, 手勢, a̍h 是 lò-lò 長 ê 議論才會引起我 ê 興趣.

伊所講 ê 重點, 如果我 ê 理解無毋著, tō 是我 ê 犯罪是預謀 ê. 上無, 這是伊想欲證明 ê. 伊 án-ne 講, "各位, 我來證明予恁看. 我 kō͘ 兩个方法來證明. 第一, kō͘ 光天白日下 ê 明顯事實, 第二, kō͘ 這个罪犯靈魂 ni̍h ê 心理所反射 ê 暗毿影跡."

伊提醒法庭講: 我激外外, 無要無緊; 毋知阮老母幾歲; 隔工 tō 和查某去泅水, 去看 Fernandel 演 ê 笑詼電影; 最後 koh chhōa Marie 轉厝. 最後彼句予我想一睏才明白, 因為伊講 "彼个搭頭," m̄-koh 對我來講, he tō 是 Marie lah. Koh 來伊講著 Raymond ê 代誌. 我認為, 伊看代誌 ê 觀點有某種一致. 伊 teh 講 ê mā 有可能. 我答應替 Raymond 寫彼張批 kā in 搭頭 siâⁿ 出來, 害她予這个 "道德可疑" ê 人虐待. 我 tī 海灘惹 Raymond ê 對敵, 自 án-ne Raymond 受傷. 我叫 Raymond kā 銃予我, koh 家己一人轉去想欲用銃. 我照計畫開銃. 我等一睏. 為著欲保證代誌成功, 我 koh 開四銃, 冷靜, 確定, 這是思考過 ê 方式.

"代誌 tō 是 án-ne, 各位," 檢察官講. "我 kā 代誌 ê 經過為恁整理好勢, 這个人是 tī 清醒 ê 狀態刣人 ê. 我著強調這點," 伊講, "因為這毋是一般 ê 謀殺, 毋是 tī 凡勢會使減輕罪責情形下 ê 衝碰行為. 這个人, 各位, 這个人真巧. 你有聽著伊講話, 敢毋是? 伊知影按怎應話. 伊知影話 ê 價值. 無人會當講, 伊行動 ê 時毋知伊是 teh 創啥."

我 teh 聽, 我聽人講我真巧. M̄-koh 我無法度真正理解, 平常人 ê 優點是按怎對犯罪 ê 人煞變做食力 ê 罪名? 上無 he 予我誠刺鑿, 我無 koh 聽檢察官講話, 一直到我聽伊講, "伊敢有按怎表示反悔? Lóng 無, 各位. 自預審以來, 這个人對伊 he 惡毒 ê 罪行連一改 to 無顯示激動."

講到遐, 伊越 ǹg 我, 指頭仔指我, 繼續攻擊我, che 我真正毋知是為啥物. 當然, 我 mā 袂當無承認伊講 ê 無毋著. 我並無按怎反悔我所做 ê. M̄-koh 伊 ê 無情予我驚一趒. 我原本會使親切 koh 好意 kā 伊解說看覓, 講我 m̄-bat 為任何代誌真正感覺反悔. 我 ê 心總是掛意未來 ê 代誌, 今仔日 a̍h 是明仔載. M̄-koh 徛 tī 我今 ê 立場, 自然我無可能 kā 任何人 án-ne 講. 我無權利表示任何感情 a̍h 是好意. 我 tō koh 聽看覓, 因為檢察官開始 teh 講我 ê 靈魂 ah.

伊講, 伊有探討我 ê 靈魂, 發現 he 是空 ê, 各位陪審員. 伊講, 事實上我並無靈魂, mā 無人性, 無半項掌管咱人心肝 ê 道德原則是我想會到 ê. "當然," 伊 koh 講, "這咱袂使怪伊. 咱袂使埋怨伊能力達袂到 ê 欠缺. M̄-koh, tī 這个法庭, 寬容帶來 ê 全然負面 ê 美德, 著讓位予正義帶來 ê 較嚴厲卻較高尚 ê 美德. 尤其是, tī 人 ê 心肝空 kah ná 深坑得欲吞食社會 ê 時, tō 親像咱 tī 這个人所看著 ê." 彼時, 伊講起我對 Mama ê 態度. 伊 koh 講起拄才伊講過 ê, m̄-koh 比伊講我 ê 罪用 koh 較長 ê 時間 -- 事實上, 長 kah 最後我干焦注意著, 這个早起實在有夠熱.

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10.1

Even in the prisoner's dock it's always interesting to hear people talk about you. And during the summations by the prosecutor and my lawyer, there was a lot said about me, maybe more about me than about my crime. B u t were their two speeches so different after all? My lawyer raised his arms and pleaded guilty, but with an explanation. The prosecutor waved his hands and proclaimed my guilt, but without an explanation. One thing bothered me a little, though. Despite everything that was on my mind, I felt like intervening every now and then, but my lawyer kept telling me, "Just keep quiet-it won't do your case any good." In a way, they seemed to be arguing the case as if it had nothing to do with me. Everything was happening without my participation. My fate was being decided without anyone so much as asking my opinion. There were times when I felt like breaking in on all of them and saying, "Wait a minute! Who's the accused here? Being the accused counts for something. And I have something to say!" But on second thought, I didn't have anything to say. Besides, I have to admit that whatever interest you can get people to take in you doesn't last very long. For example, I got bored very quickly with the prosecutor's speech. Only bits and pieces-a gesture or a long but isolated tirade-caught my attention or aroused my interest.

The gist of what he was saying, if I understood him correctly, was that my crime was premeditated. At least that is what he tried to show. As he himself said, "I will prove it to you, gentlemen, and I will prove it in two ways. First, in the blinding clarity of the facts, and second, in the dim light cast by the mind of this criminal soul." He reminded the court of my insensitivity; of my ignorance when asked Marnan's age; of my swim the next day--with a woman; of the Fernandel movie; and finally of my taking Marie horne with me. It took me a few minutes to understand the last part because he kept saying "his mistress" and to me she was Marie. Then he carne to the business with Raymond. I thought his way of viewing the events had a certain consistency. What he was saying was plausible. I had agreed with Raymond to write the letter in order to lure his mistress and submit her to mistreatment by a man "of doubtful morality." I had provoked Raymond's adversaries at the beach. Raymond had been wounded. I had asked him to give me his gun. I had gone back alone intending to use it. I had shot the Arab as I planned. I had waited. And to make sure I had done the job right, I fired four more shots, calmly, point-blankthoughtfully, as it were.

"And there you have it, gentlemen," said the prosecutor. "I have retraced for you the course of events which led this man to kill with full knowledge of his actions. I stress this point," he said, "for this is no ordinary murder, no thoughtless act for which you might find mitigating circumstances. This man, gentlemen, this man is intelligent. You heard him, didn't you? He knows how to answer. He knows the value of words. And no one can say that he acted without realizing what he was doing."

I was listening, and I could hear that I was being judged intelligent. But I couldn't quite understand how an ordinary man's good qualities could become crushing accusations against a guilty man. At least that was what struck me, and I stopped listening to the prosecutor until I heard him say, "Has he so much as expressed any remorse? Never, gentlemen. Not once during the preliminary hearings did this man show emotion over his heinous offense." At that point, he turned in my direction, pointed his finger at me, and went on attacking me without my ever really understanding why. Of course, I couldn't help admitting that he was right. I didn't feel much remorse for what I'd done. But I was surprised by how relentless he was. I would have liked to have tried explaining to him cordially, almost affectionately, that I had never been able to truly feel remorse for anything. My mind was always on what was coming next, today or tomorrow. But naturally, given the position I'd been put in, I couldn't talk to anyone in that way. I didn't have the right to show any feeling or goodwill. And I tried to listen again, because the prosecutor started talking about my soul.

He said that he had peered into it and that he had found nothing, gentlemen of the jury. He said the truth was that I didn't have a soul and that nothing human, not one of the moral principles that govern men's hearts, was within my reach. "Of course," he added, "we cannot blame him for this. We cannot complain that he lacks what it was not in his power to acquire. But here in this court the wholly negative virtue of tolerance must give way to the sterner but loftier virtue of justice. Especially when the emptiness of a man's heart becomes, as we find it has in this man, an abyss threatening to swallow up society." It was then that he talked about my attitude toward Maman. He repeated what he had said earlier in the proceedings. But it went on much longer than when he was talking about my crime--so long, in fact, that finally all I was aware of was how hot a morning it was.

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9.5 Raymond 講, he 是巧合

9.5 Raymond kóng, he sī kha-ha̍p

Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ tō khiā khí-lâi, chin giâm-siok kō͘ he góa kám-kak sī chhiong-móa kám-chêng ê siaⁿ-tiāu, chéng-thâu-á koh ná pí góa, kóng:

"Pôe-sím-thoân ê kok-ūi sian-siⁿ, tī in lāu-bú sí ê keh-kang, chit-ê lâng khì siû-chúi, khai-sí chi̍t-ê khó-gî ê koan-hē, koh khì khòaⁿ tiān-iáⁿ, chi̍t-tiûⁿ hí-kio̍k, chhiò-khoe ê iáⁿ-phìⁿ. Góa bô-siáⁿ thang koh kóng ah."

Tī bô-siaⁿ bô-soeh ê hoat-têng ni̍h i chē lo̍h-lâi. M̄-koh, hut-jiân-kan, Marie khai-sí teh khàu, kóng tāi-chì m̄-sī án-ne, iáu-koh ū pa̍t-hāng, tú-chiah kóng ê ōe m̄-sī yi ê pún-ì, sī siū-tio̍h ap-pek chiah kóng ê, yi liáu-kái góa, chai-iáⁿ góa bô chò siáⁿ-mih m̄-tio̍h ê tāi-chì. M̄-koh hoat-koaⁿ pí-chhiú kiò chip-hêng-koaⁿ chhōa yi lī-khui hoat-têng, sím-mn̄g chiah koh kè-sio̍k.

Án-ne liáu, chha-put-to bô-lâng teh thiaⁿ Masson ê chò-chèng, i kóng góa sī chi̍t-ê láu-si̍t lâng, "sīm-chì ē-sái kóng sī chi̍t-ê ko-sióng ê lâng." Mā chha-put-to bô-lâng teh thiaⁿ Salamano, i ē-kì-tit góa it-hiòng tùi i ê káu chin hó, tī hôe-tap iú-koan goán lāu-bú hām góa ê būn-tê ê sî, i kóng, góa í-keng kap Mama bô ōe hó kóng ah, án-ne góa chiah ē kā yi sàng khì tòa iáng-ló-īⁿ. "Lí tio̍h lí-kái," Salamano put-sî án-ne kóng, "lí tio̍h lí-kái." M̄-koh, ká-ná bô-lâng ē lí-kái. In chhōa i chhut-khì.

Koh-lâi sī Raymond, i sī chòe-āu chi̍t-ê chèng-jîn. I ǹg góa ia̍t-chhiú, hut-jiân-kan piàng chi̍t-kù ōe kóng góa sī bû-ko͘ ê.

M̄-koh hoat-koaⁿ thê-chhéⁿ i kóng, sī boeh mn̄g i iú-koan ê chèng-kì, m̄-sī kiò i chò phòaⁿ-toàn. I kiò i tán būn-tê mn̄g liáu chiah ìn-ōe.

In kiò i bêng-khak kóng-chhut i kap pī-hāi-chiá ê koan-hē. Raymond chioh chit-ê ki-hōe kóng, i chiah sī pī-hāi-chiá só͘ oàn-hūn ê lâng, in-ūi i bat siu-lí in a-chí. Put-jî-kò, hoat-koaⁿ mn̄g i, pī-hāi-chiá sī-m̄-sī mā ū oàn-hūn góa ê iân-kò͘. Raymond kóng, góa ē khì hái-than sī khá-ha̍p.

Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ tō mn̄g i kóng, sī án-chóaⁿ hit-tiuⁿ chiâⁿ-chò chit-chân pi-kio̍k kin-goân ê phe sī góa siá ê.

Raymond ìn kóng, he mā sī khá-ha̍p.

Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ hoán-pok kóng, tī chit-ê àn-kiāⁿ, khá-ha̍p í-keng tùi liông-sim chō-sêng chin tōa ê siong-hāi ah. I siūⁿ boeh chai-iáⁿ, tī i siu-lí in cha-bó͘-pêng-iú ê sî góa bô chhap-chhiú, kám sī khá-ha̍p, góa khì kéng-kio̍k chò-chèng kám sī khá-ha̍p, koh-ū, góa tī hit-ê tiûⁿ-ha̍p só͘ chò ê chèng-sû hiah-nī iú-lī, kám mā-sī khá-ha̍p.

Chóng-kiat, i mn̄g Raymond, i sī khò siáⁿ seng-oa̍h ê, Raymond ìn kóng "chhng-khò͘ siú-ūi" ê sî, kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kā pôe-sím-thoân kóng, thong-lâng lóng chai, chèng-jîn ê chit-gia̍p sī sam-chhit-á. Góa sī in pêng-iú, mā-sī kiōng-hoān. In bīn-tùi chi̍t-kiāⁿ siōng pi-phí ê hoān-chōe, hit-ê chōe in-ūi ka-ji̍p chi̍t-ê bô tō-tek ê ok-mô͘ piàn-chò koh-khah hā-liû.

Raymond siūⁿ boeh piān-kái, góa ê lu̍t-su mā khòng-gī, m̄-koh hoat-koaⁿ chí-sī kóng, in tio̍h hō͘ kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kóng soah.

"Góa koh kóng ê bô chē ah," kiám-chhat-koaⁿ kóng. "I sī lí ê pêng-iú bô?" i mn̄g Raymond.

"Sī," Raymond kóng. "Goán sī hó pêng-iú."

Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ mn̄g góa kāng-khoán ê būn-tê, góa gia̍h-ba̍k khòaⁿ Raymond, i mā ba̍k-chiu kim-kim khòaⁿ góa.

Góa ìn kóng, "Sī."

Kiám-chhat-koaⁿ tō oa̍t-sin ǹg pôe-sím-thoân soan-pò͘ kóng:

"Kāng chit-ê lâng, tī lāu-bú sí ê keh-kang tō chhut-khì hòng-tōng, pìⁿ hit-lō siōng bē-kiàn-siàu ê kâu-lāng, ūi-tio̍h boeh pâi-kái siâ-ok ê kám-chêng sū-kiāⁿ tō chhìn-chhìn chhái-chhái thâi-sí chi̍t-ê lâng."

I tō chē lo̍h-lâi. M̄-koh góa ê lu̍t-su tòng bē-tiâu, tō kā chhiú gia̍h koân, hoat-phâu ê chhiú-ńg soah làu lo̍h-lâi, hiàn-chhut lāi-té ū áu-sûn chiuⁿ kòe ê siatchuh, tōa-siaⁿ hoah kóng:

"Tàu-té, góa ê àn-chú sī in-ūi lāu-bú chhut-soaⁿ a̍h-sī in-ūi thâi-lâng teh siū-sím ah?"

Koan-chiòng chhiò chhut-lâi. M̄-koh kiám-chhat-koaⁿ koh khiā khí-lâi, hoat-phâu khiú-khiú leh, soan-pò͘ kóng, kan-ta chhiūⁿ chit-ūi chun-kèng ê tông-sū ê thian-chin, chiah khòaⁿ bē-chhut tī chit nn̄g-cho͘ chèng-kì tiong-kan chûn-chāi tio̍h chhim-khek, khó-liân, koh kin-pún ê koan-hē. "Khak-si̍t," i tōa-siaⁿ kóng, "Góa khòng-sò͘ chit-ê lâng kō͘ chōe-hoān ê sim tâi i ê lāu-bú."

Chit-ê soan-pò͘ ká-ná tùi hoat-têng ni̍h ê lâng-lâng ū chin tōa ê éng-hióng. Góa ê lu̍t-su, keng-thâu giâ chi̍t-ē, kā hia̍h-thâu téng ê kōaⁿ chhit-chhit leh. M̄-koh i ká-ná mā siū-tio̍h chhiong-kek, góa chai-iáⁿ tāi-chì tùi góa lâi kóng pēng bô sūn-lī.

Sím-mn̄g kiat-sok. Ùi hoat-têng chhut-lâi chiūⁿ-chhia ê sî, góa hut-jiân iū-koh kak-chhat tio̍h joa̍h-thiⁿ hông-hun ê khì-bī kap sek-chhái. Tī che cháu-tāng kaⁿ-lô ê o͘-àm tiong, tō ká-ná tī thiám kah hi-lè-lè ê sî, góa ē-tàng thiaⁿ-tio̍h góa só͘ ài ê siâⁿ-chhī tī góa kám-kak hēng-hok ê sî-tōaⁿ ê chióng-chióng se̍k-sāi ê siaⁿ-im.

Tī í-keng khin-sang ê khong-khì tiong kiò-bē sin-bûn ê siaⁿ, tōa-tiâⁿ-téng chió-chió chhun lo̍h-lâi ê chiáu-á siaⁿ, hoah-bē sandwich ê siaⁿ, tiān-chhia oan-kòe nāu-khu ki-ki kiò ê siaⁿ, koh ū àm-mê kàng-lîm káng-kháu chêng, thiⁿ-téng ê chhap-cha̍p siaⁿ: só͘-ū chiah-ê siaⁿ ōe chhut chi̍t-tiâu lō͘, he sī tī góa ji̍p-kaⁿ chìn-chêng hiah-nī se̍k-sāi, iah taⁿ góa àm-àm teh keng-kòe.

Sī ah, tō sī chit-ê sî-tōaⁿ, chin kú í-chêng, góa kám-kak móa-móa ê hēng-hok. Hit-sî, tán góa ê chóng-sī khin-sang, bô bîn-bāng ê àm-mê.

M̄-koh, taⁿ tāi-chì í-keng bô kāng ah, in-ūi góa tio̍h tńg-khì kaⁿ-ga̍k, khì hia tán-thāi tē-jī kang ... bē-su ōe tī joa̍h-thiⁿ thiⁿ-téng ê se̍k-sāi sió-lō͘, ē-tàng thong kaⁿ-ga̍k, mā ē-tàng thong sûn-chin ê an-bîn.

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9.5 Raymond 講, he 是巧合

檢察官 tō 徛起來, 真嚴肅 kō͘ he 我感覺是充滿感情 ê 聲調, 指頭仔 koh ná 比我, 講:

"陪審團 ê 各位先生, tī in 老母死 ê 隔工, 這个人去泅水, 開始一个可疑 ê 關係, koh 去看電影, 一場喜劇, 笑詼 ê 影片. 我無啥通 koh 講 ah."

Tī 無聲無說 ê 法庭 ni̍h 伊坐落來. M̄-koh, 忽然間, Marie 開始 teh 哭, 講代誌毋是 án-ne, 猶 koh 有別項, 拄才講 ê 話毋是她 ê 本意, 是受著壓迫才講 ê, 她了解我, 知影我無做啥物毋著 ê 代誌. M̄-koh 法官比手叫執行官 chhōa 她離開法庭, 審問才 koh 繼續.

Án-ne 了, 差不多無人 teh 聽 Masson ê 做證, 伊講我是一个老實人, "甚至會使講是一个高尚 ê 人." Mā 差不多無人 teh 聽 Salamano, 伊會記得我一向對伊 ê 狗真好, tī 回答有關阮老母和我 ê 問題 ê 時, 伊講, 我已經 kap Mama 無話好講 ah, án-ne 我才會 kā 她送去蹛養老院. "你著理解," Salamano 不時 án-ne 講, "你著理解." M̄-koh, ká-ná 無人會理解. In chhōa 伊出去.

Koh 來是 Raymond, 伊是最後一个證人. 伊 ǹg 我擛手, 忽然間 piàng 一句話講我是無辜 ê.

M̄-koh 法官提醒伊講, 是欲問伊有關 ê 證據, 毋是叫伊做判斷. 伊叫伊等問題問了才應話.

In 叫伊明確講出伊 kap 被害者 ê 關係. Raymond 借這个機會講, 伊才是被害者所怨恨 ê 人, 因為伊 bat 修理 in 阿姊. 不而過, 法官問伊, 被害者是毋是 mā 有怨恨我 ê 緣故. Raymond 講, 我會去海灘是巧合.

檢察官 tō 問伊講, 是按怎彼張成做這層悲劇根源 ê 批是我寫 ê.

Raymond 應講, he mā 是巧合.

檢察官反駁講, tī 這个案件, 巧合已經對良心造成真大 ê 傷害 ah. 伊想欲知影, tī 伊修理 in 查某朋友 ê 時我無插手, 敢是巧合, 我去警局做證敢是巧合, koh 有, 我 tī 彼个場合所做 ê 證詞 hiah-nī 有利, 敢 mā 是巧合.

總結, 伊問 Raymond, 伊是靠啥生活 ê, Raymond 應講 "倉庫守衛" ê 時, 檢察官 kā 陪審團講, 通人 lóng 知, 證人 ê 職業是三七仔. 我是 in 朋友, mā 是共犯. In 面對一件上卑鄙 ê 犯罪, 彼个罪因為加入一个無道德 ê 惡魔變做 koh 較下流.

Raymond 想欲辯解, 我 ê 律師 mā 抗議, m̄-koh 法官指示講, in 著予檢察官講煞.

"我 koh 講 ê 無濟 ah," 檢察官講. "伊是你 ê 朋友無?" 伊問 Raymond.

"是," Raymond 講. "阮是好朋友."

檢察官問我仝款 ê 問題, 我攑目看 Raymond, 伊 mā 目睭金金看我.

我應講, "是."

檢察官 tō 越身 ǹg 陪審團宣布講:

"仝這个人, tī 老母死 ê 隔工 tō 出去放蕩, pìⁿ hit-lō 上袂見笑 ê 猴弄, 為著欲排解邪惡 ê 感情事件 tō 凊凊采采刣死一个人."

伊 tō 坐落來. M̄-koh 我 ê 律師擋袂牢, tō kā 手攑懸, 法袍 ê 手䘼煞 làu 落來, 現出內底有拗巡漿過 ê siatchuh, 大聲喝講:

"到底, 我 ê 案主是因為老母出山 a̍h 是因為刣人 teh 受審 ah?"

觀眾笑出來. M̄-koh 檢察官 koh 徛起來, 法袍搝搝 leh, 宣布講, 干焦像這位尊敬 ê 同事 ê 天真, 才看袂出 tī 這兩組證據中間存在著深刻, 可憐, koh 根本 ê 關係. "確實," 伊大聲講, "我控訴這个人 kō͘ 罪犯 ê 心埋伊 ê 老母."

這个宣布 ká-ná 對法庭 ni̍h ê 人人有真大 ê 影響. 我 ê 律師, 肩頭夯一下, kā 額頭頂 ê 汗拭拭 leh. M̄-koh 伊 ká-ná mā 受著衝擊, 我知影代誌對我來講並無順利.

審問結束. Ùi 法庭出來上車 ê 時, 我忽然又 koh 覺察著熱天黃昏 ê 氣味 kap 色彩. Tī che 走動監牢 ê 烏暗中, tō ká-ná tī 忝 kah 虛 lè-lè ê 時, 我會當聽著我所愛 ê 城市 tī 我感覺幸福 ê 時段 ê 種種熟似 ê 聲音.

Tī 已經輕鬆 ê 空氣中叫賣新聞 ê 聲, 大埕頂少少賰落來 ê 鳥仔聲, 喝賣 sandwich ê 聲, 電車彎過鬧區 ki-ki 叫 ê 聲, koh 有暗暝降臨港口前, 天頂 ê 插雜聲: 所有 chiah-ê 聲畫出一條路, he 是 tī 我入監進前 hiah-nī 熟似, iah 今我暗暗 teh 經過.

是 ah, tō 是這个時段, 真久以前, 我感覺滿滿 ê 幸福. 彼時, 等我 ê 總是輕鬆, 無眠夢 ê 暗暝.

M̄-koh, 今代誌已經無仝 ah, 因為我著轉去監獄, 去遐等待第二工 ... 袂輸畫 tī 熱天天頂 ê 熟似小路, 會當 thong 監獄, mā 會當 thong 純真 ê 安眠.

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9.5

The prosecutor then rose and, very gravely and with what struck me as real emotion in his voice, his finger pointing at me, said slowly and distinctly, "Gentlemen of the jury, the day after his mother's death, this man was out swimming, starting up a dubious liaison, and going to the movies, a comedy, for laughs. I have nothing further to say." He sat down in the still-silent courtroom. But all of a sudden Marie began to sob, saying it wasn't like that, there was more to it, and that she was being made to say the opposite of what she was thinking, that she knew me and I hadn't done anything wrong. But at a signal from the judge, the bailiff ushered her out and the trial proceeded.

Hardly anyone listened after that when Masson testified that I was an honest man "and I'd even say a decent one." Hardly anyone listened to Salamano either, when he recalled how I had been good to his dog and when he answered a question about my mother and me by saying that I had run out of things to say to Maman and that was why I'd put her in the home. "You must understand," Salamano kept saying, "you must understand." But no one seemed to understand. He was ushered out.

Next came Raymond, who was the last witness. He waved to me and all of a sudden, he blurted out that I was innocent. But the judge advised him that he was being asked not for judgments but for facts. He was instructed to wait for the questions before responding. He was directed to state precisely what his relations with the victim were. Raymond took this opportunity to say that he was the one the victim hated ever since he had hit the guy's sister. Nevertheless, the judge asked him whether the victim hadn't also had reason to hate me. Raymond said that my being at the beach was just chance. The prosecutor then asked him how it was that the letter that set the whole drama in motion had been written by me. Raymond responded that it was just chance. The prosecutor retorted that chance already had a lot of misdeeds on its conscience in this case. He wanted to know if it was just by chance that I hadn't intervened when Raymond had beaten up his girlfriend, just by chance that I had acted as a witness at the police station, and again just by chance that my statements on that occasion had proved to be so convenient. Finishing up, he asked Raymond how he made his living, and when Raymond replied "warehouse guard," the prosecutor informed the jury that it was common knowledge that the witness practiced the profession of procurer. I was his friend and accomplice. They had before them the basest of crimes, a crime made worse than sordid by the fact that they were dealing with a monster, a man without morals. Raymond wanted to defend himself and my lawyer objected, but they were instructed that they must let the prosecutor finish. "I have little to add," the prosecutor said. "Was he your friend?" he asked Raymond. "Yes," Raymond sa1"d. "We were paIs." The prosecutor then put the same question to me, and I looked at Ray­ mond, who returned my gaze. I answered, "Yes." The prosecutor then turned to the jury and declared, "The same man who the day after his mother died was indulging in the most shameful debauchery killed a man for the most trivial of reasons and did so in order to settle an affair of unspeakable vice."

He then sat down. But my lawyer had lost his patience, and, raising his hands so high that his sleeves fell, revealing the creases of a starched shirt, he shouted, "Come now, is my client on trial for burying his mother or for killing a man?" The spectators laughed. But the prosecutor rose to his feet again, adjusted his robe, and declared that only someone with the naivete of his esteemed colleague could fail to appreciate that between these two sets of facts there existed a profound, fundamental, and tragic relationship. "Indeed," he loudly exclaimed, "I accuse this man of burying his mother With crime in his heart!" This pronouncement seemed to have a strong effect on the people in the courtroom. My lawyer shrugged his shoulders and wiped the sweat from his brow. But he looked shaken himself, and I realized that things weren't going well for me.

The trial was adjourned. As I was leaving the court-house on my way back to the van, I recognized for a brief moment the smell and color of the summer evening. In the darkness of my mobile prison I could make out one by one, as if from the depths of my exhaustion, all the familiar sounds of a town I loved and of a certain time of day when I used to feel happy. The cries of the newspaper vendors in the already languid air, the last few birds in the square, the shouts of the sandwich sellers, the screech of the streetcars turning sharply through the upper town, and that hum in the sky before night engulfs the port: all this mapped out for me a route I knew so well before going to prison and which now I traveled blind. Yes, it was the hour when, a long time ago, I was perfectly content. What awaited me back then was always a night of easy, dreamless sleep. And yet something had changed, since it was back to my cell that I went to wait for the next day . . . as if familiar paths traced in summer skies could lead as easily to prison as to the sleep of the innocent.

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