5.1 頭家問我欲去 Paris 蹛無

5

5.1 Thâu-ke mn̄g góa boeh khì Paris tòa bô

Raymond khà tiān-ōe lâi pān-kong-sek chhōe góa. I kā góa kóng, chi̍t-ê i ê pêng-iú (i bat kā kóng-khí góa) iau-chhiáⁿ góa pài-la̍k khì in lī Algiers bô-hn̄g ê hái-than chhù tō͘-ká. Góa kóng, góa chin siūⁿ boeh khì, m̄-koh í-keng tah-èng hit-kang boeh hām chhit-á chò-hóe. Raymond sûi kóng, chhit-á mā tâng-chê lâi ah. In pêng-iú ê bó͘ ē chin hoaⁿ-hí, án-ne yi tī chi̍t-tīn cha-po͘-lâng tiong-kan tō ū cha-bó͘ phōaⁿ.

Góa siūⁿ boeh kín kòa tiān-ōe, in-ūi góa chai-iáⁿ thâu-ke bô-ài ū lâng ùi siâⁿ-ni̍h khà tiān-ōe lâi chhōe goán. M̄-koh Raymond kiò góa bōe-sī kòa, koh kóng, i pún-chiâⁿ ē-sái e-àm chiah choán-ta̍t iau-chhiáⁿ, m̄-koh i iáu ū kî-thaⁿ ê tāi-chì boeh kā góa kóng.

I khì hō͘ chi̍t-tīn Arab-lâng kin-chong kui-kang, kî-tiong chi̍t-ê sī chìn-chêng hit-ê tah-thâu ê hiaⁿ-tī. "Boeh-àm tńg chhù ê sî, nā khòaⁿ tio̍h i tī lán chhù hia sô, lí tio̍h kā góa kóng."

Góa kóng, góa ē lah.

Kòe bô gōa kú, thâu-ke kiò lâng chhōe góa kòe-khì, hit-sî góa sim-ni̍h kám-kak gāi-gio̍h, in-ūi góa siūⁿ-kóng i sī boeh kā góa kóng, tiān-ōe khah mài kóng leh, khang-khòe khah phah-piàⁿ chò leh. M̄-koh tāi-chì oân-choân m̄-sī án-ne. I kóng, i boeh kap góa chham-siông chi̍t-ê iáu chin ló-chhó ê kè-ōe, chí-sī siūⁿ boeh chai-iáⁿ góa ê ì-kiàn. I teh kè-ōe boeh tī Paris khui chi̍t-ê pān-sū-chhù, thang hām tōa kong-si tī hia ti̍t-chiap chih-chiap gia̍p-bū, i boeh chai-iáⁿ góa sī-m̄-sī ū ì-sù khì hia. Án-ne góa tō ē-sái tòa tī Paris, nî-tō͘ tiong-kan mā ē-tàng sì-kè lí-hêng.

"Lí iáu siàu-liân, chāi góa khòaⁿ, hit-chióng seng-oa̍h eng-tong lí ē kah-ì."

Góa kóng, bô m̄-tio̍h, m̄-koh he tùi góa lóng kāng-khoán.

I tō mn̄g góa, sī-m̄-sī bô chhù-bī kái-piàn seng-oa̍h. Góa kóng, seng-oa̍h sī bô hoat-tō͘ kái-piàn ê, bô-lūn án-chóaⁿ, ta̍k-khoán seng-oa̍h lóng pêⁿ hó, góa mā bē khì-hiâm bo̍k-chêng tī chia ê seng-oa̍h.

I kám-kak àu-náu, kóng góa bô hō͘ i ti̍t-chiap ê tap-àn, koh kóng góa bô chì-khì, tī seng-lí-tiûⁿ án-ne ē chhám.

Góa bô-ì-sù ín-khí i àu-náu, m̄-koh góa mā khòaⁿ bē-chhut ū siáⁿ lí-iû tio̍h kái-piàn góa ê seng-oa̍h. Oa̍t-thâu khòaⁿ, góa pēng bô-siáⁿ put-jû-ì. Tī ha̍k-seng sî-tāi, góa bat ū chióng-chióng ê chì-khì. M̄-koh tng góa tio̍h hòng-khì ha̍k-gia̍p ê sî, chin-kín góa tō chai-iáⁿ hiah-ê lóng bô-hāu ah-lah.

Hit-kang boeh-àm, Marie kòe-lâi chhōe góa, mn̄g góa boeh kap yi kiat-hun bô. Góa kóng, he tùi góa bô chha, yi nā boeh, lán tō lâi kiat.

Yi koh boeh chai, góa ū ài yi bô. Góa ê hôe-tap kap téng-kái kāng-khoán, kóng he bô siáⁿ ì-gī, hoān-sè góa pēng bô ài yi.

"Nā án-ne, sī án-chóaⁿ boeh kap góa kiat-hun?" yi kóng.

Góa kā yi kái-soeh kóng, he si̍t-chāi bô siáⁿ iàu-kín, m̄-koh yi nā boeh, lán tō lâi kiat-hun. Koh-kóng, sī yi teh mn̄g góa, góa kan-ta ìn-ōe tah-èng.

Yi tō kóng, kiat-hun sī chi̍t-chân giâm-siok ê tāi-chì.

Góa kóng, "M̄-sī lah."

Yi thêng chi̍t-khùn tiām-tiām khòaⁿ góa, bô koh kóng siáⁿ.

Lo̍h-bóe yi kóng, yi chí-sī siūⁿ boeh chai-iáⁿ, ká-sú che sī pa̍t-ê cha-bó͘ ê thê-gī, iah góa kap hit-ê cha-bó͘ ê koan-hē hām taⁿ góa kap Marie ê koan-hē kāng-khoán, nā án-ne góa kám ē chiap-siū?

Góa kóng, "He sī tong-jiân ê tāi-chì."

Yi tō kóng, yi mā m̄-chai yi sī-m̄-sī ū ài góa, iah góa koh-khah bô siáⁿ hoat-tō͘ thang chai. Koh kòe chi̍t-khùn ê tiām-chēng, yi nauh kóng, góa ū-kàu kî-koài, mā khó-lêng tō-sī án-ne, yi chiah ē ài tio̍h góa, m̄-koh chi̍t-kang góa mā khó-lêng in-ūi án-ne hō͘ yi oàn-chheh.

Góa bô kóng siáⁿ, in-ūi góa bô siáⁿ thang pó͘-chhiong.

Yi tō chhiò-chhiò khan góa ê chhiú, kóng yi boeh kap góa kiat-hun.

Góa kóng, yi nā boeh, lán sûi-sî ē-sái lâi kiat-hun. Góa koh kā yi kóng goán thâu-ke ê thê-gī, yi tō kóng, yi siūⁿ boeh khì Paris khòaⁿ-khòaⁿ leh.

Góa kā kóng, góa bat tī Paris tòa kòe, yi tō mn̄g góa kóng, Paris seⁿ-chò án-chóaⁿ.

Góa kóng, "Hia chiok lah-sap, sì-kè lóng sī hún-chiáu kap àm-sàm ê mn̂g-tiâⁿ. Lâng-lâng bīn-á pe̍h chhang-chhang."

Āu-lâi, goán chhut-khì sàn-pō͘, kiâⁿ kòe kúi-ā tiâu tōa ke-lō͘, lâi kàu chhī-khu ê iáu chi̍t-thâu. Cha-bó͘ lóng chin súi, góa mn̄g Marie kám ū chù-ì tio̍h. Yi kóng ū, mā kóng yi liáu-kái góa ê ì-sù. Kòe chi̍t-khùn, goán nn̄g-lâng lóng bô kóng siáⁿ. M̄-koh góa ài kap yi chò-hóe, tō kā yi kóng, lán tâng-chê khì Céleste ê chhan-thiaⁿ. Yi kóng yi chin siūⁿ boeh khì, m̄-koh yi ū kî-thaⁿ ê tāi-chì. Kàu goán tau hū-kīn ê sî, góa kā yi kóng chài-hōe. Yi lia̍h góa khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē, kóng:

"Lí kám bô-ài chai-iáⁿ góa sī ūi-tio̍h siáⁿ-sū?"

Góa ū, m̄-koh góa bô siūⁿ tio̍h boeh mn̄g, yi soah bē-su teh chek-pī góa. Khòaⁿ góa gông-ngia̍h, yi soah chhiò chhut-lâi, tō kui-sin-khu àⁿ óa góa, kā chhùi-tûn tu hō͘ góa.

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5

5.1 頭家問我欲去 Paris 蹛無

Raymond 敲電話來辦公室揣我. 伊 kā 我講, 一个伊 ê 朋友 (伊 bat kā 講起我) 邀請我拜六去 in 離 Algiers 無遠 ê 海灘厝渡假. 我講, 我真想欲去, m̄-koh 已經答應彼工欲和 chhit-á 做伙. Raymond 隨講, chhit-á mā 同齊來 ah. In 朋友 ê 某會真歡喜, án-ne 她 tī 一陣查埔人中間 tō 有查某伴.

我想欲緊掛電話, 因為我知影頭家無愛有人 ùi 城 ni̍h 敲電話來揣阮. M̄-koh Raymond 叫我未是掛, koh 講, 伊本成會使下暗才轉達邀請, m̄-koh 伊猶有其他 ê 代誌欲 kā 我講.

伊去予一陣 Arab 人跟蹤規工, 其中一个是進前彼个搭頭 ê 兄弟. "欲暗轉厝 ê 時, 若看著伊 tī 咱厝遐趖, 你著 kā 我講."

我講, 我會 lah.

過無偌久, 頭家叫人揣我過去, 彼時我心 ni̍h 感覺礙虐, 因為我想講伊是欲 kā 我講, 電話較莫講 leh, khang-khòe 較拍拚做 leh. M̄-koh 代誌完全毋是 án-ne. 伊講, 伊欲 kap 我參詳一个猶真潦草 ê 計畫, 只是想欲知影我 ê 意見. 伊 teh 計畫欲 tī Paris 開一个辦事處, 通和大公司 tī 遐直接 chih-chiap 業務, 伊欲知影我是毋是有意思去遐. Án-ne 我 tō 會使蹛 tī Paris, 年度中間 mā 會當四界旅行.

"你猶少年, 在我看, 彼種生活應當你會佮意."

我講, 無毋著, m̄-koh he 對我 lóng 仝款.

伊 tō 問我, 是毋是無趣味改變生活. 我講, 生活是無法度改變 ê, 無論按怎, 逐款生活 lóng 平好, 我 mā 袂棄嫌目前 tī 遮 ê 生活.

伊感覺懊惱, 講我無予伊直接 ê 答案, koh 講我無志氣, tī 生理場 án-ne 會慘.

我無意思引起伊懊惱, m̄-koh 我 mā 看袂出有啥理由著改變我 ê 生活. 越頭看, 我並無啥不如意. Tī 學生時代, 我 bat 有種種 ê 志氣. M̄-koh tng 我著放棄學業 ê 時, 真緊我 tō 知影 hiah-ê lóng 無效 ah-lah.

彼工欲暗, Marie 過來揣我, 問我欲 kap 她結婚無. 我講, he 對我無差, 她若欲, 咱 tō 來結.

她 koh 欲知, 我有愛她無. 我 ê 回答 kap 頂改仝款, 講 he 無啥意義, 凡勢我並無愛她.

"若 án-ne, 是按怎欲 kap 我結婚?" 她講.

我 kā 伊解說講, he 實在無啥要緊, m̄-koh 她若欲, 咱 tō 來結婚. Koh 講, 是她 teh 問我, 我干焦應話答應.

她 tō 講, 結婚是一層嚴肅 ê 代誌.

我講, "毋是 lah."

她停一睏恬恬看我, 無 koh 講啥.

落尾她講, 她只是想欲知影, 假使 che 是別个查某 ê 提議, iah 我 kap 彼个查某 ê 關係和今我 kap Marie ê 關係仝款, 若 án-ne 我敢會接受?

我講, "He 是當然 ê 代誌."

她 tō 講, 她 mā 毋知她是毋是有愛我, iah 我 koh 較無啥法度 thang 知. Koh 過一睏 ê 恬靜, 她 nauh 講, 我有夠奇怪, mā 可能 tō 是 án-ne, 她才會愛著我, m̄-koh 一工我 mā 可能因為 án-ne 予她怨慼.

我無講啥, 因為我無啥通補充.

她 tō 笑笑牽我 ê 手, 講她欲 kap 我結婚.

我講, 她若欲, 咱隨時會使來結婚. 我 koh kā 她講阮頭家 ê 提議, 她 tō 講, 她想欲去 Paris 看看 leh.

我 kā 講, 我 bat tī Paris 蹛過, 她 tō 問我講, Paris 生做按怎.

我講, "遐足垃圾, 四界 lóng 是粉鳥 kap 暗毿 ê 門埕. 人人面仔白蔥蔥."

後來, 阮出去散步, 行過幾 ā 條大街路, 來到市區 ê 猶一頭. 查某 lóng 真媠, 我問 Marie 敢有注意著. 她講有, mā 講她了解我 ê 意思. 過一睏, 阮兩人 lóng 無講啥. M̄-koh 我愛 kap 她做伙, tō kā 她講, 咱同齊去 Céleste ê 餐廳. 她講她真想欲去, m̄-koh 她有其他 ê 代誌. 到阮兜附近 ê 時, 我 kā 她講再會. 她掠我看一下, 講:

"你敢無愛知影我是為著啥事?"

我有, m̄-koh 我無想著欲問, 她煞袂輸 teh 責備我. 看我 gông-ngia̍h, 她煞笑出來, tō 規身軀 àⁿ 倚我, kā 喙唇 tu 予我.

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Raymond called me at the office. He told me that a friend of his (he'd spoken to him about me) had invited me to spend the day Sunday at his little beach house, near Algiers. I said I'd really like to, but I'd promised to spend the day with a girlfriend. Raymond immediately told me that she was invited too. His friend's wife would be very glad not to be alone with a bunch of men.

I wanted to hang up right away because I know the boss doesn't like people calling us from town. But Raymond asked me to hang on and told me he could have passed on the invitation that evening, but he had something else to tell me. He'd been followed all day by a group of Arabs, one of whom was the brother of his former mistress. "If you see him hanging around the building when you get home this evening, let me know." I said I would.

A little later my boss sent for me, and for a second I was annoyed, because I thought he was going to tell me to do less talking on the phone and more work. But that wasn't it at all. He told me he wanted to talk to me about a plan of his that was still pretty vague. He just wanted to have my opinion on the matter. He was planning to open an office in Paris which would handle his business directly with the big companies, on the spot, and he wanted to know how I felt about going there. I'd be able to live in Paris and to travel around for part of the year as well. "You're young, and it seems to me it's the kind of life that would appeal to you." I said yes but that really it was all the same to me. Then he asked me if I wasn't interested in a change of life. I said that people never change their lives, that in any case one life was as good as another and that I wasn't dissatisfied with mine here at all. He looked upset and told me that I never gave him a straight answer, that I had no ambition, and that that was disastrous in business. So I went back to work. I would rather not have upset him, but I couldn't see any reason to change my life. Looking back on it, I wasn't unhappy. When I was a student, I had lots of ambitions like that. But when I had to give up my studies I learned very quickly that none of it really mattered.

That evening Marie carne by to see me and asked me if I wanted to marry her. I said it didn't make any difference to me and that we could if she wanted to. Then she wanted to know if I loved her. I answered the same way I had the last time, that it didn't mean anything but that I probably didn't love her. "So why marry me, then?" she said. I explained to her that it didn't really matter and that if she wanted to, we could get married. Besides, she was the one who was doing the asking and all I was saying was yes. Then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. I said, "No." She stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything. Then she spoke. She just wanted to know if I would have accepted the same proposal from another woman, with whom I was involved in the same way. I said, "Sure." Then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there was no way I could know about that. After another moment's silence, she mumbled that I was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day I might hate her for the same reason. I didn't say anything, because I didn't have anything to add, so she took my arm with a smile and said she wanted to marry me. I said we could do it whenever she wanted. Then I told her about my boss's proposition and she said she'd love to see Paris. I told her that I'd lived there once and she asked me what it was like. I said, "It's dirty. Lots of pigeons and dark courtyards. Everybody's pale."

Then we went for a walk through the main streets to the other end of town. The women were beautiful and I asked Marie if she'd noticed. She said yes and that she understood what I meant. For a while neither of us said anything. But I wanted her to stay with me, and I told her we could have dinner together at Celeste's. She would have liked to but she had something to do. We were near my place and I said goodbye to her. She looked at me. "Don't you want to know what I have to do?" I did, but I hadn't thought to ask, and she seemed to be scolding me. Then, seeing me so confused, she laughed again and she moved toward me with her whole body to offer me her lips.

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