2
2.1 Hām Marie khì siû-chúi
Góa tú boeh chhéⁿ ê sî, hut-jiân chai-iáⁿ sī án-chóaⁿ góa kā thâu-ke chhéng-ká nn̄g-kang ê sî, i ká-ná bô siáⁿ hoaⁿ-hí: kin-á-ji̍t sī pài-la̍k. Tāi-seng góa ná-chhiūⁿ bē-kì-tit ah, m̄-koh tī boeh chhéⁿ ê sî, góa koh siūⁿ khí-lâi. Tong-jiân loh, goán thâu-ke siūⁿ tio̍h, pau-hâm lé-pài góa ē ū liân-sòa sì kang ê ká-kî, chit-ê sū-si̍t hō͘ i án-chóaⁿ to hoaⁿ-hí bē khí-lâi. M̄-koh, tē-it, in cha-hng tâi Mama, m̄-sī kin-á-ji̍t, he mā m̄-sī góa ê m̄-tio̍h, tē-jī, pài-la̍k kap lé-pài pún-lâi tō sī góa ê hioh-khùn-ji̍t ah. Tong-jiân, che pēng bô éng-hióng góa lí-kái goán thâu-ke ê khòaⁿ-hoat.
Góa chiâⁿ kan-khó͘ khí-chhn̂g, in-ūi chêng chi̍t-kang si̍t-chāi ū-kàu thiám ê. Tng-teh khau chhùi-chhiu ê sî, góa siūⁿ boeh chhòng-siáⁿ hó, tō koat-tēng boeh khì siû-chúi. Góa tah tiān-chhia khì káng-piⁿ ê kong-kiōng hái-chúi e̍k-tiûⁿ.
Kàu-ūi ê sî, góa sûi chhàng-lo̍h chúi ni̍h. Ū chiâⁿ chē siàu-liân-lâng. Tī chúi-té, góa siû khì Marie Cardona hia, yi sī goán kong-si í-chêng ê phah-jī-oân, hit-sî góa tùi yi chin ū ì-sù. Góa siūⁿ yi tùi góa mā-sī án-ne. M̄-koh, kòe bô kú yi tō lī-khui, goán soah bô sî-kan thang kè-sio̍k.
Góa pang yi peh khí-lih chi̍t-ê phû-chhn̂g, teh tháⁿ yi khí-lih ê sî, góa ê chhiú khì hôe tio̍h yi ê leng. Góa iáu tī chúi ni̍h, yi chi̍t peh kàu-tè sûi phak pêⁿ-pêⁿ. Yi koh oa̍t-sin ǹg góa. Yi ê thâu-chang khàm-tio̍h ba̍k-chiu, it-ti̍t teh chhiò. Góa mā peh khí-lih óa tī yi piⁿ-á. Án-ne kám-kak chiâⁿ hó, koh-lâi, góa chò-sńg kā thâu khòe tī yi ê pak-tó͘. Yi bô kóng siáⁿ, góa tō kā khòe tī hia. Góa ê ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ tio̍h kui-phiàn ê thiⁿ, thiⁿ sī nâ-sek ê, siám-sih tio̍h kim-sek ê kng. Góa ê ām-kún āu-niā kám-kak ē tio̍h Marie ê sim-chōng khin-khin teh thiàu. Góa tó tī phû-chhn̂g kú-kú ê sî-kan, kiông boeh khùn khì. Āu-lâi, ji̍t-thâu lú sio, yi tō thiàu lo̍h chúi, góa sûi tòe loeh. Góa jek tio̍h yi, kā chhiú lám yi ê io, chū án-ne goán chò-hóe siû. Yi it-ti̍t lóng teh chhiò.
Lâi kàu bé-thâu, tng goán teh chhit ta sin-khu ê sî, yi kóng, "Góa pha̍k kah pí lí khah o͘." Góa mn̄g yi, e-àm boeh khì khòaⁿ tiān-iáⁿ bô. Yi koh chhiò, kā góa kóng, ū chi̍t-chhut Fernandel ián ê chhiò-khoe phìⁿ, yi siūⁿ boeh khòaⁿ.
Tán goán kā saⁿ chhēng hó, yi khòaⁿ góa kat o͘-sek nekutái, kám-kak hòⁿ-hiân, mn̄g góa sī-m̄-sī teh tòa-hà. Góa kā kóng, goán Mama sí khì lah. Yi mn̄g kóng he sī tang-sî, góa kóng, "Cha-hng." Yi sió-khóa kiaⁿ chi̍t-tiô, m̄-koh bô kóng siáⁿ. Góa siūⁿ boeh kā kóng, he m̄-sī góa ê m̄-tio̍h, m̄-koh bô kóng chhut-chhùi, in-ūi góa siūⁿ-tio̍h, góa bat án-ne kā goán thâu-ke kóng kòe. Kóng he bô siáⁿ ì-gī. Jî-chhiáⁿ, lí sim-lāi chóng-sī sió-khóa ū chōe-ok-kám.
Kàu boeh-àm, Marie kā he lóng bē-kì-tit ah. Tiān-iáⁿ ū kúi-ê só͘-chāi chin hó-chhiò, m̄-koh kî-si̍t sī ū-kàu pe̍h-chhi. Yi kā kha khòe tī góa ê kha téng-koân. Góa ná teh so yi ê leng. Tiān-iáⁿ boeh soah ê sî, góa kā chim chi̍t-ē, m̄-koh chim liáu bô súi-khùi. Yi hām góa tńg goán tau.
Góa chhéⁿ lâi ê sî, Marie í-keng lī-khui. Yi ū seng kā góa kóng, yi tio̍h khì yin a-î hia. Góa siūⁿ khí-lâi, chit-kang sī lé-pài, che hō͘ góa put-an: góa bô-ài lé-pài-ji̍t. Chū án-ne góa hoan chi̍t-ê sin, khì phīⁿ chím-thâu, khòaⁿ ū yi ê thâu-chang lâu lo̍h-lâi ê kiâm-bī--bô, koh tó tī bîn-chhn̂g khùn kàu cha̍p-tiám. Koh-lâi, góa pok kúi-ki-á hun, tī bîn-chhn̂g it-ti̍t tó kàu tiong-tàu. Góa bô siūⁿ boeh chhiūⁿ pêng-sî án-ne khì Céleste ê chhan-thiaⁿ chia̍h-tàu, in-ūi in tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē mn̄g-tang mn̄g-sai, he góa chin bô kah-ì. Góa chian kúi-lia̍p-á nn̄g, ùi chian-pôaⁿ ti̍t-chiap the̍h khí-lâi chia̍h, bô kap pháng, in-ūi góa mā bô pháng, iū-koh bē-giàn lo̍h-lâu khì bé.
Chia̍h-tàu liáu, góa sió-khóa bô-liâu, tō tī kong-ú ni̍h kiâⁿ-lâi kiâⁿ-khì. Mama tī chia ê sî, kong-ú tú-hó tōa. Taⁿ tùi góa lâi kóng siuⁿ tōa, góa í-keng kā pn̄g-toh poaⁿ khì khùn-pâng ni̍h. Chit-chūn góa kan-ta iōng chi̍t-ê pâng-keng, lāi-bīn ū kúi-tè-á lap-lap ê tîn-í, chi̍t-ê kiàⁿ í-keng hoán-n̂g ê saⁿ-tû, chi̍t-tè se-chng tâi, kap chi̍t-téng tâng bîn-chhn̂g. Kî-thaⁿ ê góa lóng bô teh iōng ah.
Kòe chi̍t-khùn, m̄-chai chhòng siáⁿ hó, góa tō khioh chi̍t-tiuⁿ kū pò-chóa khí-lâi tha̍k. Góa chián chi̍t-ê Kruschen Iâm ê kóng-kò, kā tah tī phō͘-á ni̍h, kô͘ tī hia ê lóng sī ùi pò-chóa ka ê, góa kám-kak chhù-bī ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Góa koh sé góa ê chhiú, chiah kiâⁿ chhut-khì lō͘-tâi.
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2
2.1 和 Marie 去泅水
我拄欲醒 ê 時, 忽然知影是按怎我 kā 頭家請假兩工 ê 時, 伊 ká-ná 無啥歡喜: 今仔日是拜六. 代先我 ná 像袂記得 ah, m̄-koh tī 欲醒 ê 時, 我 koh 想起來. 當然 loh, 阮頭家想著, 包含禮拜我會有連紲四工 ê 假期, 這个事實予伊按怎 to 歡喜袂起來. M̄-koh, 第一, in 昨昏埋 Mama, 毋是今仔日, he mā 毋是我 ê 毋著, 第二, 拜六 kap 禮拜本來 tō 是我 ê 歇睏日 ah. 當然, che 並無影響我理解阮頭家 ê 看法.
我誠艱苦起床, 因為前一工實在有夠忝 ê. Tng-teh 剾喙鬚 ê 時, 我想欲創啥好, tō 決定欲去泅水. 我搭電車去港邊 ê 公共海水浴場.
到位 ê 時, 我隨藏落水 ni̍h. 有誠濟少年人. Tī 水底, 我泅去 Marie Cardona 遐, 她是阮公司以前 ê 拍字員, 彼時我對她真有意思. 我想她對我 mā 是 án-ne. M̄-koh, 過無久她 tō 離開, 阮煞無時間通繼續.
我幫她 peh 起 lih 一个浮床, teh 挺她起 lih ê 時, 我 ê 手去 hôe 著她 ê 奶. 我猶 tī 水 ni̍h, 她一 peh 到地隨仆平平. 她 koh 越身 ǹg 我. 她 ê 頭鬃崁著目睭, 一直 teh 笑. 我 mā peh 起 lih 倚 tī 她邊仔. Án-ne 感覺誠好, koh 來, 我做耍 kā 頭 khòe tī 她 ê 腹肚. 她無講啥, 我 tō kā khòe tī 遐. 我 ê 目睭看著規遍 ê 天, 天是藍色 ê, 閃爍著金色 ê 光. 我 ê 頷頸後 niā 感覺會著 Marie ê 心臟輕輕 teh 跳. 我倒 tī 浮床久久 ê 時間, 強欲睏去. 後來, 日頭 lú 燒, 她 tō 跳落水, 我隨綴 loeh. 我 jek 著她, kā 手攬她 ê 腰, 自 án-ne 阮做伙泅. 她一直攏 teh 笑.
來到碼頭, 當阮 teh 拭焦身軀 ê 時, 她講, "我曝 kah 比你較烏." 我問她, 下暗欲去看電影無. 她 koh 笑, kā 我講, 有一齣 Fernandel 演 ê 笑詼片, 她想欲看.
等阮 kā 衫穿好, 她看我結烏色 nekutái, 感覺好玄, 問我是毋是 teh 帶孝. 我 kā 講, 阮 Mama 死去 lah. 她問講 he 是 tang-sî, 我講, "昨昏." 她小可驚一趒, m̄-koh 無講啥. 我想欲 kā 講, he 毋是我 ê 毋著, m̄-koh 無講出喙, 因為我想著, 我 bat án-ne kā 阮頭家講過. 講 he 無啥意義. 而且, 你心內總是小可有罪惡感.
到欲暗, Marie kā he 攏袂記得 ah. 電影有幾个所在真好笑, m̄-koh 其實是有夠白痴. 她 kā 跤 khòe tī 我 ê 跤頂懸. 我 ná teh 挲她 ê 奶. 電影欲煞 ê 時, 我 kā 唚一下, m̄-koh 唚了無媠氣. 她和我轉阮兜.
我醒來 ê 時, Marie 已經離開. 她有先 kā 我講, 她著去姻阿姨遐. 我想起來, 這工是禮拜, che 予我不安: 我無愛禮拜日. 自 án-ne 我翻一个身, 去鼻枕頭, 看有她 ê 頭鬃留落來 ê 鹹味無, koh 倒 tī 眠床睏到十點. Koh 來, 我 pok 幾支仔薰, tī 眠床一直倒到中晝. 我無想欲像平時 án-ne 去 Céleste ê 餐廳食晝, 因為 in 定著會問東問西, he 我真無佮意. 我煎幾粒仔卵, ùi 煎盤直接提起來食, 無 kap pháng, 因為我 mā 無 pháng, 又 koh 袂癮落樓去買.
食晝了, 我小可無聊, tō tī 公寓 ni̍h 行來行去. Mama tī 遮 ê 時, 公寓拄好大. 今對我來講 siuⁿ 大, 我已經 kā 飯桌搬去睏房 ni̍h. 這陣我干焦用一个房間, 內面有幾塊仔 lap-lap ê 籐椅, 一个鏡已經反黃 ê 衫櫥, 一塊梳妝台, kap 一頂銅眠床. 其他 ê 我攏無 teh 用 ah.
過一睏, 毋知創啥好, 我 tō 抾一張舊報紙起來讀. 我剪一个 Kruschen 鹽 ê 廣告, kā 貼 tī 簿仔 ni̍h, 糊 tī 遐 ê 攏是 ùi 報紙鉸 ê, 我感覺趣味 ê 物件. 我 koh 洗我 ê 手, 才行出去露台.
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2
2.1
As I was waking up, it came to me why my boss had seemed annoyed when I asked him for two days off: today is Saturday. I'd sort of forgotten, but as I was getting up, it came to me. And, naturally, my boss thought about the fact that I'd be getting four days' vacation that way, including Sunday, and he couldn't have been happy about that. But, in the first place, it isn't my fault if they buried Maman yesterday instead of today, and second, I would have had Saturday and Sunday off anyway. Obviously, that still doesn't keep me from understanding my boss's point of view.
I had a hard time getting up, because I was tired from the day before. While I was shaving, I wondered what I was going to do and I decided to go for a swim. I caught the streetcar to go to the public beach down at the harbor. Once there, I dove into the channel. There were lots of young people. In the water I ran into Marie Cardona, a former typist in our office whom I'd had a thing for at the time. She did too, I think. But she'd left soon afterwards and we didn't have the time. I helped her onto a Hoat and as I did, I brushed against her breasts.
I was still in the water when she was already lying flat on her stomach on the float. She turned toward me. Her hair was in her eyes and she was laughing. I hoisted myself up next to her. It was nice, and, sort of joking around, I let my head fall back and rest on her stomach. She didn't say anything so I left it there. I had the whole sky in my eyes and it was blue and gold. On the back of my neck I could feel Marie's heart beating softly. We lay on the Boat for a long time, half asleep. When the sun got too hot, she dove off and I followed. I caught up with her, put my arm around her waist, and we swam together. She laughed the whole time. On the dock, while we were drying ourselves off, she said, ''I'm darker than you." I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies that evening. She laughed again and told me there was a Fernandel movie she'd like to see. Once we were dressed, she seemed very surprised to see I was wearing a black tie and she asked me if I was in mourning. I told her Maman had died. She wanted to know how long ago, so I said, "Yesterday." She gave a little start but didn't say anything. I felt like telling her it wasn't my fault, but I stopped myself because I remembered that I'd already said that to my boss. It didn't mean anything. Besides, you always feel a little guilty.
By that evening Marie had forgotten all about it. The movie was funny in parts, but otherwise it was just too stupid. She had her leg pressed against mine. I was fondling her breasts. Toward the end of the show, I gave her a kiss, but not a good one. She came back to my place.
When I woke up, Marie had gone. She'd explained to me that she had to go to her aunt's. I remembered that it was Sunday, and that bothered me: I don't like Sundays. So I rolled over, tried to find the salty smell Marie's hair had left on the pillow, and slept until ten. Then I smoked a few cigarettes, still in bed, till noon. I didn't feel like having lunch at Celeste's like I usually did because they'd be sure to ask questions and I don't like that. I fixed myself some eggs and ate them out of the pan, without bread because I didn't have any left and I didn't feel like going downstairs to buy some.
After lunch I was a little bored and I wandered around the apartment. It was just the right size when Maman was here. Now it's too big for me, and I've had to move the dining room table into my bedroom. I live in just one room now, with some saggy straw chairs, a wardrobe whose mirror has gone yellow, a dressing table, and a brass bed. I've let the rest go. A little later, just for something to do, I picked up an old newspaper and read it. I cut out an advertisement for Kruschen Salts and stuck it in an old notebook where I put things from the papers that interest me. I also washed my hands, and then I went out onto the balcony.
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