8.2 Biān-hōe tiûⁿ-só͘ lāu-jia̍t-kún-kún
Goán thêng lo̍h-lâi, bô koh kóng-ōe, Marie iáu-sī bīn chhiò-chhiò. Hit-ê tōa-kho͘ cha-bó͘ ǹg góa piⁿ-á hit-ê cha-po͘ koân-siaⁿ kóng-ōe, góa khòaⁿ he sī yin ang, sī chi̍t-ê kim thâu-chang ê lò-kha-á, ū chi̍t-ê kó͘-ì bīn. In í-keng kóng chi̍t-khùn ah.
"Jeanne m̄ khì chhōa i," yi chīn-la̍t tōa-siaⁿ kóng.
"Ai-ah," cha-po͘ kóng.
"Góa kā yi kóng, lí tńg lâi tō ē khì chhōa i."
Koh-lâi, lûn-tio̍h Marie tōa-siaⁿ kóng, kóng Raymond hoan-hù yi kā góa mn̄g-an, góa kóng, "To-siā lah." M̄-koh, góa ê ōe-siaⁿ khì hō͘ keh-piah hit-ê lâng ê ah lo̍h, i mn̄g kóng, "I lóng hó bô?"
In bó͘ chhiò-chhiò kóng, "I m̄-bat chhiūⁿ taⁿ hiah hó."
Góa ê tò-pêng sī chi̍t-ê sè-hàn ê siàu-liân, chhiú chin iù-siù, i siáⁿ to bô kóng. Góa chù-ì tio̍h kap i biān-hōe ê sī hit-ê sè-lia̍p-chí ê lāu hu-jîn, in kan-ta kim-kim sio-tùi-khòaⁿ. M̄-koh góa bô sî-kan koh chù-ì in ah, in-ūi Marie tōa siaⁿ kóng, kiò góa tio̍h ài phō hi-bāng.
Góa kóng, "Sī lah." Yi kóng-ōe ê sî góa kim-kim khòaⁿ yi, siūⁿ boeh lám yi chhēng iûⁿ-chong ê keng-kah-thâu. Góa boeh kám-kak he po̍h-po̍h ê pò͘-liāu, tî-liáu án-ne góa m̄-chai ū siáⁿ thang-hó ǹg-bāng. Hoān-sè che mā sī yi ê ì-sù, in-ūi yi iáu-sī chhiò-hi-hi. Góa só͘ khòaⁿ ē-tio̍h ê sī, yi pe̍h siak-siak ê chhùi-khí hām yi ba̍k-chiu ê sió-sió têng-sûn. Yi koh tōa-siaⁿ kóng:
"Lí kín chhut-lâi, lán tō lâi kiat-hun!"
Góa kā ìn kóng, "Lí chèng-keng án-ne siūⁿ oh?" m̄-koh che put-kò sī ūi-tio̍h ū ōe kóng, chiah án-ne kóng.
Chin kín, yi sûi iū-koh tōa-siaⁿ kóng sī lah, kóng góa ē bô tāi-chì, koh kóng goán ē koh chò-hóe khì siû-chúi.
M̄-koh iáu chi̍t-ê cha-bó͘ lûn-tio̍h yi tōa-siaⁿ kóng, kóng yi ū kià chi̍t-ê nâ-á tī su-kì ê pān-kong-sek. Yi chi̍t-hāng chi̍t-hāng kóng yi khǹg tī nâ-á ni̍h ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ, bián-tit kiám hāng khì, in-ūi sī khai bē-chió chîⁿ bé ê. Hit-ê siàu-liân hām in lāu-bú iáu-sī sio-tùi-khòaⁿ. Arab-lâng ê kē-siaⁿ ōe-im iáu-sī tī goán ê ē-bīn kè-sio̍k. Gōa-bīn ê ji̍t-kng ná-chhiūⁿ lú lâi lú mé, chiò tī phok-chhut ê thang-á.
Góa sió-khóa kám-kak thâu-hîn, siūⁿ boeh kín lī-khui. Chhò-hīⁿ-siaⁿ lú lâi lú chha̍k-hīⁿ. M̄-koh góa mā siūⁿ boeh ke khòaⁿ Marie chi̍t-ē. Góa m̄-chai í-keng keng-kòe gōa-chē sî-kan. Marie kā góa kóng yi ê khang-khòe, yi it-ti̍t lóng sī chhiò-hi-hi. Kē-im siaⁿ, chiam-kiò siaⁿ, kóng-ōe siaⁿ lâi-lâi khì-khì. Ûi-it ê tiām-chēng só͘-chāi tō tī góa ê sin-piⁿ, hit-ê sè-hàn siàu-liân hām hit-ê lāu hū-jîn-lâng sio-tùi-khòaⁿ.
Arab-lâng chi̍t-ê chi̍t-ê pī chhōa-khui. Tī tē-it-ê lī-khui khai-sí chha-put-to ta̍k-ê lóng tiām lo̍h-lâi. Hit-ê sè-lia̍p-chí ê cha-bó͘ sóa khah óa lân-kan, hit-sî chi̍t-ê kéng-ūi pí chhiú-sè thong-ti yin kiáⁿ. I kóng, "Chài-hōe lah, Mama," yi kā chhiú chhun-chhut lân-kan, it-ti̍t ǹg i ûn-ûn-á ia̍t.
Yi lī-khui ê sî, tú hó ū pa̍t-ê lâng ji̍p-lâi, chhiú the̍h bō-á, khiā tī yi pún-lâi hit-ê ūi. Lēng-gōa chi̍t-ê siû-hoān mā pī chhōa kàu-ūi, in tō sûi jia̍t-chhiat kóng-ōe, m̄-koh siaⁿ-im jiû-jiû, in-ūi tōa-thiaⁿ ni̍h í-keng piàn kah chin an-chēng. Kéng-ūi boeh chhōa góa chiàⁿ-pêng hit-ê lâng lī-khui, in bó͘ ká-ná sī bô chù-ì tio̍h í-keng bô su-iàu tōa-siaⁿ hoah, soah bô pàng kē yi ê siaⁿ-im, kóng, "Ài chiàu-kò͘ lí ka-tī, khah sió-sim leh."
Koh-lâi, lûn tio̍h góa. Marie ǹg góa pí chi̍t-ê sio-chim ê chhiú-sè. Góa chi̍t-lō͘ oa̍t-thâu khòaⁿ. Yi bô kiâⁿ tín-tāng, bīn iáu khò tī lân-kan, hián-chhut iu-siong, bián-kióng ê chhiò-iông.
Yi siá-phe hō͘ góa tō sī tī che liáu-āu bô gōa kú. Chū án-ne, góa bô ài kóng-khí ê tāi-chì tō khai-sí ah. Chóng-kóng, góa bô pûn-ke-kui, che tùi góa pí tùi pa̍t-lâng lóng khah kán-tan. Tng góa tē-it pái hông koaiⁿ, siōng kan-lân ê tāi-chì sī, góa ê su-sióng iáu-sī chū-iû lâng ê su-sióng. Pí-lūn kóng, góa ē hut-jiân-kan kip boeh khì hái-than, siūⁿ boeh kiâⁿ-lo̍h chúi. Tng góa kám-kak tio̍h góa kha ē-bīn hái-éng ê siaⁿ, góa ê sin-khu chìm-lo̍h chúi koh hō͘ góa kui-ê khin-sang khí-lâi, hut-jiân góa chiah hoat-hiān góa sī khì hō͘ kaⁿ-pâng ê piah só͘ pau-ûi tio̍h. M̄-koh che kan-ta ûi-chhî kúi kò goe̍h niâ.
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8.2 面會場所鬧熱滾滾
阮停落來, 無 koh 講話, Marie 猶是面笑笑. 彼个大箍查某 ǹg 我邊仔彼个查埔懸聲講話, 我看 he 是姻翁, 是一个金頭鬃 ê 躼跤仔, 有一个古意面. In 已經講一睏 ah.
"Jeanne 毋去 chhōa 伊," 她盡力大聲講.
"Ai-ah," 查埔講.
"我 kā 她講, 你轉來 tō 會去 chhōa 伊."
Koh 來, 輪著 Marie 大聲講, 講 Raymond 吩咐她 kā 我問安, 我講, "多謝 lah." M̄-koh, 我 ê 話聲去予隔壁彼个人 ê 壓落, 伊問講, "伊 lóng 好無?"
In 某笑笑講, "伊 m̄-bat 像今 hiah 好."
我 ê 倒爿是一个細漢 ê 少年, 手真幼秀, 伊啥 to 無講. 我注意著 kap 伊面會 ê 是彼个細粒子 ê 老夫人, in 干焦金金 sio 對看. M̄-koh 我無時間 koh 注意 in ah, 因為 Marie 大聲講, 叫我著愛抱希望.
我講, "是 lah." 她講話 ê 時我金金看她, 想欲攬她穿洋裝 ê 肩胛頭. 我欲感覺 he 薄薄 ê 布料, 除了 án-ne 我毋知有啥通好 ǹg 望. 凡勢 che mā 是她 ê 意思, 因為她猶是笑 hi-hi. 我所看會著 ê 是, 她白 siak-siak ê 喙齒和她目睭 ê 小小重巡. 她 koh 大聲講:
"你緊出來, 咱 tō 來結婚!"
我 kā 應講, "你正經 án-ne 想 oh?" m̄-koh 這不過是為著有話講, 才 án-ne 講.
真緊, 她隨又 koh 大聲講是 lah, 講我會無代誌, koh 講阮會 koh 做伙去泅水.
M̄-koh 猶一个查某輪著她大聲講, 講她有寄一个籃仔 tī 書記 ê 辦公室. 她一項一項講她囥 tī 籃仔 ni̍h ê 物件, 免得減項去, 因為是開袂少錢買 ê. 彼个少年和 in 老母猶是 sio 對看. Arab 人 ê 低聲話音猶是 tī 阮 ê 下面繼續. 外面 ê 日光 ná 像 lú 來 lú 猛, 照 tī phok 出 ê 窗仔.
我小可感覺頭眩, 想欲緊離開. 噪耳聲 lú 來 lú 鑿耳. M̄-koh 我 mā 想欲加看 Marie 一下. 我毋知已經經過偌濟時間. Marie kā 我講她 ê 工課, 她一直 lóng 是笑 hi-hi. 低音聲, 尖叫聲, 講話聲來來去去. 唯一 ê 恬靜所在 tō tī 我 ê 身邊, 彼个細漢少年和彼个老婦人 lâng sio 對看.
Arab 人一个一个被 chhōa 開. Tī 第一个離開開始差不多逐个 lóng 恬落來. 彼个細粒子 ê 查某徙較倚欄杆, 彼時一个警衛比手勢通知姻囝. 伊講, "再會 lah, Mama," 她 kā 手伸出欄杆, 一直 ǹg 伊勻勻仔擛.
她離開 ê 時, 拄好有別个人入來, 手提帽仔, 徛 tī 她本來彼个位. 另外一个囚犯 mā 被 chhōa 到位, in tō 隨熱切講話, m̄-koh 聲音柔柔, 因為大廳 ni̍h 已經變 kah 真安靜. 警衛欲 chhōa 我正爿彼个人離開, in 某 ká-ná 是無注意著已經無需要大聲喝, 煞無放低她 ê 聲音, 講, "愛照顧你家己, 較小心 leh."
Koh 來, 輪著我. Marie ǹg 我比一个相唚 ê 手勢. 我一路越頭看. 她無行振動, 面猶靠 tī 欄杆, 顯出憂傷, 勉強 ê 笑容.
她寫批予我 tō 是 tī che 了後無偌久. 自 án-ne, 我無愛講起 ê 代誌 tō 開始 ah. 總講, 我無歕雞胿, che 對我比對別人 lóng 較簡單. Tng 我第一擺 hông 關, 上艱難 ê 代誌是, 我 ê 思想猶是自由人 ê 思想. 比論講, 我會忽然間急欲去海灘, 想欲行落水. Tng 我感覺著我跤下面海湧 ê 聲, 我 ê 身軀浸落水 koh 予我規个輕鬆起來, 忽然我才發現我是去予監房 ê 壁所包圍著. M̄-koh 這干焦維持幾個月 niâ.
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8.2
We stopped talking and Marie went on smiling. The fat woman yelled to the man next to me, her husband probably, a tall blond guy with an honest face. It was the continuation of a conversation already under way.
"Jeanne wouldn't take him," she shouted as loudly as she could. "Uh-huh," said the man. "I told her you'd take him back when you get out, but she wouldn't take him."
Then it was Marie's turn to shout, that Raymond sent his regards, and I said, "Thanks." But my voice was drowned out by the man next to me, who asked, "Is he all right?" His wife laughed and said, "He's never been better." The man on my left, a small young man with delicate hands, wasn't saying anything. I noticed that he was across from the little old lady and that they were staring intently at each other. But I didn't have time to watch them any longer, because Marie shouted to me that I had to have hope. I said, "Yes." I was looking at her as she said it and I wanted to squeeze her shoulders through her dress. I wanted to feel the thin material and I didn't really know what else I had to hope for other than that. But that was probably what Marie meant, because she was still smiling. All I could see was the sparkle of her teeth and the little folds of her eyes. She shouted again, "You'll get out and we'll get married!" I answered, "You think so?" but it was mainly just to say something. Then very quickly and still in a very loud voice she said yes, that I would be acquitted and that we would go swimming again. But the other woman took her turn to shout and said that she had left a basket at the clerk's office. She was listing all the things she had put in it, to make sure they were all there, because they cost a lot of money. The young man and his mother were still staring at each other. The murmuring of the Arabs continued below us. Outside, the light seemed to surge up over the bay window.
I was feeling a little sick and I'd have liked to leave. The noise was getting painful. But on the other hand, I wanted to make the most of Marie's being there. I don't know how much time went by. Marie told me about her job and she never stopped smiling. The murmuring, the shouting, and the conversations were crossing back and forth. The only oasis of silence was next to me where the small young man and the old woman were gazing at each other. One by one the Arabs were taken away. Almost everyone stopped talking as soon as the first one left. The little old woman moved closer to the bars, and at the same moment a guard motioned to her son. He said "Goodbye, Maman," and she reached between two bars to give him a long, slow little wave.
She left just as another man came in, hat in hand, and took her place. Another prisoner was brought in and they talked excitedly, but softly, because the room had once again grown quiet. They came for the man on my right, and his wife said to him without lowering her voice, as if she hadn't noticed there was no need to shout anymore, "Take care of yourself and be careful." Then it was my turn. Marie threw me a kiss. I looked back before disappearing. She hadn't moved and her face was still pressed against the bars with the same sad, forced smile on it.
Shortly after that was when she wrote to me. And the things I've never liked talking about began. Anyway, I shouldn't exaggerate, and it was easier for me than for others. When I was first imprisoned, the hardest thing was that my thoughts were still those of a free man . For example, I would suddenly have the urge to be on a beach and to walk down to the water. As I imagined the sound of the first waves under my feet, my body entering the water and the sense of relief it would give me, all of a sudden I would feel just how closed in I was by the walls of my cell. But that only lasted a few months.
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